Worst Episode Ever

Right now, I feel sort of like a shell. Like someone has punched all the guts and feelings out of me. Yesterday, my mom told me she has colon cancer. I'm not angry anymore, or even sad. I'm just kind of in shock. I know that colon cancer is the easiest to successfully treat. (or that's what she told me) But still, it's a pretty scary thing. I kind of assumed that since she got MS she was immune to other diseases, that for some reason the universe played fair. I don't know why I thought that. I guess it was pretty naive. I remember when she told me last year that she had multiple sclerosis she said, "Don't worry. It could have been worse." We were both thinking in our heads "it could have been cancer." And now it is worse. A week from Monday she's going in to get surgery. Depending on if they can get it all out, she may have to get chemo. The doctor said they caught it pretty early so most likely she'll be fine after the surgery. I hope they're right. I'm probably overreacting. But c'mon, cancer? That's such a scary thing. I should stop worrying so much though. I mean, for as scared as I am, I'm sure she's probably about 100 times more scared. So, this is me letting all of my fear go. I want to be there for my mom. I don't want her to have to feel her pain and also see my pain. So, I guess from now on, I'm just going to be there for her.