My mom's back in the hospital. Her colon is infected I guess. She has to stay there a few days. It's not so bad. I just spoke with her on the phone and she gave me a list of items she needs. My dad just told me I should bring one of the flower arrangements with me (from the last time she was in the hospital.) I'm just trying to figure out how to do that on my bike... It's in a glass vase. I'm sure I'll manage. (I have this new rule that I only use my car when I go to work in an effort to save gas.)

Before I go to the hospital, I have to go to Target to get some fabric softener for my dad. But then after all that, then I'm going to do my yoga.

I went jogging/walking with LJ tonight. That was good. Nothing like a good sweat to cheer myself up. I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's activities, which will include yoga, biking, and walking/jogging. I'm kind of on an exercise kick. I'm pretty sure this is how I'm dealing with the stress in my life. It seems to be the only way I can clear my mind. It's also the only way I can get myself to fall asleep at a decent hour. On days that I work out for a few hours, I'm exhausted by midnight and I pass out.

I mean, I'm getting all stressed out about Jimbo. Why is it so difficult to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? Why does somebody usually end up wanting more? I'm having some trouble with this one. It's stressing me out, mostly because I know that he's getting stressed out about this. I guess he's all confused and angry. This is what I hear through LJ and his blog. Sigh... I don't want to have to have this talk. I don't want to have to say "I'm just not that into you." to a friend. I guess that's what he wants to hear though, for whatever reason.

What I don't understand is, Jimbo hates the fact that I'm so "closed." Apparently, it's difficult for him to have a conversation with me. I think I'm like that with everybody though. I'm not really a talker. However, his saying this sort of upsets me. Who's he to critique my social skills? And if it bothers him so much, why is he interested in me?

Okay, well, fatigue is kicking in now. I'm heading up to bed. Hopefully tomorrow things look brighter. Good night!

What a way to spend Memorial Day.

I had to work today. It didn't seem like a big deal. I figured, it's a holiday. Nobody's going to be calling to get free samples of makeup. Boy, was I wrong! Just about everybody called me today, and they were all crab-asses. Not only that, but my work bought pizza for everybody today from Papa Johns. They ordered probably 6 times while I was at work. By the time I got to the pizza, it was all gone. Every. Single. Time. The manager on duty had to send out an email saying "ladies, please limit yourself to 3 pieces of pizza... and if you've already eaten, please let the people who haven't eaten get a turn." Are you kidding me? Who can eat 3 pieces of Papa Johns pizza? That's a lot. So, I was pissed. I still kind of am. I didn't get any food today. Because of SLAM, I couldn't even go out and get anything. So, I just ate from the vending machine. Ew.

Now, I'm home. Luckily, I have tomorrow off. I'm debating if I should go jogging tonight yet. It's real humid here and pretty warm... not the best outside weather. I hate Wisconsin summers. I'm a big crank-butt today. I'm sorry... I should go jogging. That'll cheer me up.

In other news, I need to start posting interesting things.

Damn Hell Ass

I'm sick and tired of men. They all think that because you smile at them or because you are mildly friendly to them that you want to have like 10,000 of their babies. I'm sorry that I'm generally a nice person and you can't tell the difference between being polite and wanting to get it on. Yes, I'm talking about a specific guy, we'll call him Jimbo. Sorry, I just needed to vent for a second. I'll post later today with something a bit more interesting.

Sometimes I'm Stupid.

So, I have this myspace account. I generally have this rule that the people I'm friends with on there, I know in real life. I'm not trying to use Myspace as a dating service or whatever. However, tonight, for whatever reason I sent messages to two different guys. I've done this before and it always ends badly. It kind of ruins whatever it is that I liked about that person. It's generally aimed at people whose blogs I read and love. Then, I find them on Myspace and send them a message. Stupid stupid me. I don't want to be that person who's like: "I met my boyfriend on Myspace. Teehee." Because we all know how cool that person is. But sometimes, you see someone that seems so awesome, you just can't help it. And that's what happened tonight I guess.

Creepy Karen

So I work in what is known as a cube farm. Rows upon rows of cubes. Whenever the ladies aren't on calls, they pop their heads up and talk to eachother. So, when I leave my cube for whatever reason, I have about 20 women watching me leave. It's uber creepy. Speaking of creepy...

I had the strangest call today. It goes something like this:

Shanghai: Thank you for calling [insert company name here]. My name is Shanghai and I'll be your blah blah blah.

Karen: Julie? Oh I have a friend named Julie. You sound like her. Are you blonde haired with blue eyes?

Shanghai: (confused as hell since I didn't say Julie... although I don't take the time to correct her since I understand that Shanghai is a difficult name to get. Plus I don't really care) Nope. I'm brunette with un-blue eyes. So it must be a different Julie. (Since we spell and pronounce our names differently. hahaha)

Karen: Oh. Ok Julie. Well I burnt my arm today on the stove. My skin stuck to it. Do you have anything for that, Julie?

Me: um... see... we're a cosmetics company. You probably need something else for that... like medical attention from a doctor. I'm not a doctor.

K: Oh. I see... have you ever been burnt that bad, Julie?

Me: Oh sure. I used to work in a bakery. I've still got scars on my arms.

K: You didn't wear any protection when you were by the ovens, Julie?

Me: no. I wasn't supposed to be over there probably.

K: Do you normally wear protection, Julie?

Me: Oh absolutely. Always. I don't want to get burned anymore.

K: So you wear a nice long oven mitt, Julie?

Me: Um... (getting uncomfortable) yea. I guess. It's a normal size mitt I suppose.

K: Oh. Well I could get you a real nice long one if you wanted, Julie. Would you like that, Julie?

Me: Well, how about we talk about some makeup here instead? (This is when I notice that Karen doesn't actually sound like a "she" so much as a "he" talking very softly.)(rush through the rest of the call so I don't have to talk to Scary McCreeps-a-lot anymore.)

WTF? I'm not even joking. She/he really said my name that many times and really asked me that. Am I overreacting here or was that strangely sexual? and kind of dirty? Sigh. My mom says she was probably just a lonely old woman looking for someone nice to talk to. I think she was really a he who got off on hearing about other people's injuries and oven mitts. That's what I think.

Whoa

I totally just passed my classes this semester. I got a C+ in math and a B in Asian Philosophy. (So for everyone who was sitting on the edge of their seat thinking "omg did she pass?!" for the past few weeks... now you know. hee hee.)

Today I'm off to the hospital to see my mom, then to work, then probably to the hospital again. Maybe my mom will want to watch Lost with me tonight.

Have a good day everyone!

My Day Off

I was biking back from the hospital tonight and I swallowed my first bug. Grody. (It was kind of cool biking home though. I got to use my new red flashy light on my seat to warn cars of my existence. hee hee.)It was really bizarre today. I was kind of craving a bike ride. I was in the hospital all day with my mom and my friend LJ. (Thanks LJ for your support!) Maybe I was just craving some exercise.

In mom news, she is doing really well. She was able to get up on her own today and walk a teensy bit. (The MS is making her recovery a bit slow I guess.) She's a lot more lucid today. I think the anesthetics really affected her yesterday. And they switched her over to a thick liquid diet? I guess that's good. So, she gets milk instead of water, pudding instead of jello, cream of chicken instead of chicken broth. Stuff like that. The bad news is, she got a roommate today. She's an older lady who seems nice enough. She spends a lot of the time sleeping so far. Her husband is kind of loud though when he's in the room. And when the woman is awake, she's puking a lot. I feel kind of bad for her. But, I also kind of wish they had put her in her own room. I mean, come on. She's puking. That's not good roommate material right there. And I'm sure she probably wants some privacy for that too. But other than that, everything is super.

I have decided how I am going to celebrate the end of SLAM. I am going to this beer run thingy with my brother in Milwaukee. Possibly LJ will go too? So I guess the way this run works is: run a quarter of a mile, drink a beer, run a quarter of a mile, drink a beer, etc. Sounds fun, eh? (Shut up. I live in Wisconsin. The fact that we're running is f*cking amazing.) (I'm kidding! Jeez...)

So, I was wondering: is it normal to get random comments? I mean, some of the comments on my site repeat. And I was just wondering what that's about... It's kind of weird.

Going to the Hospital

My mom went into the hospital to have her surgery yesterday. I visited her after work. She was doing fine, a little groggy, but overall she was good. I'm giong back to see her this morning in a few minutes. (Just an update for the one person who reads my blog.)

School's Over!

OMG. I'm done with school. I'm so excited; I just finished my last exam. (in Asian Philosophy) It was tough. But, I did it. I was going to stop off at McDonalds to get some breakfast in celebration, because how else would someone celebrate an achievement like that, when I remembered... SLAM. Sigh... so no McDonalds. Because I so do not want to have to watch Cool World again. Or apparently lose a finger or toe... which is what LJ wants to happen if we break a rule. Either one is pretty bad. So instead I stopped at Starbucks and got some coffee and a scone. I'm pretty sure it's not fast food, even though there is a drive through. (Which is our definition of fast food...) And I realized that a coffee and scone together is cheaper than what I normally get, which is a something something latte. Hm.

So- I'm trying to decide now how to spend the rest of my day since I do not have anything to do. I'm thinking of reading my new book. I've forgotten the title, but it's really good so far. I'm also thinking of doing some yoga or maybe going for a bike ride if my dad has fixed my bike yet. I don't know. I have all day. Maybe I'll do both. I'm also considering making a new mixed tape. What better way to start the summer? Don't laugh. Some of us still enjoy the [insert word that I cannot remember here] of making mixed tapes. Yea, and I'm poor and can't afford to get a c.d. player in my car. That's ok though. If I was meant to have a c.d. player, I would.

My dad just told me that my nephew, Max, is coming over in about an hour. That's cool. He's probably my favorite 2 year old in the whole world. So maybe I'll modify my plans to include watching some cartoons or movies. I have yet to introduce him to Batman TAS. (although my brother says he is a big fan of Batman... cool kid, eh?) That would make a pretty sweet day: an afternoon of Batman TAS w/Max, reading, mixed tape and yoga. Right on.

Oh Delicious Carbs!

Last night, I went to the Breadsmith, the most delicious store in the world. I bought some cranberry orange bread, which I am eating right now for breakfast. It was so bizarre walking into that store. (When I was in high school, I worked there.) It was exactly the same as it was 6 years ago, except now they take credit cards. The girl behind the counter even reminded me of myself back then: quiet, nervous, slightly on the nerdly side. (Actually, I guess that's a pretty good description of myself now too.) I'm going to have to start going there more often. I've forgotten how tasty bread is.

SLAM!

Today started out good. Then got bad. Now, I'm on my break, so it's good again I guess.

It was a good day because I woke up sober and refreshed. Last night was the first Friday in the Shanghai-LJ Awareness Month. (LJ and I have agreed to give up alcohol, cigarettes, and fast food for the month of May.) Normally on Saturday mornings, I wake up feeling groggy and usually have a headache. Sometimes I'm pretty hung-over. I go to work and I'm just in a lousy mood all day. It was nice though today because I felt great. I got enough sleep, although I would have preferred an extra few hours. Last night wasn't even too bad. It was weird at first being at a bar and not drinking. But eventually it wore off. The hardest part was not smoking. Usually at a bar, I'm practically chain smoking outside. But after a few hours, I didn't even want a cigarette. It helped that LJ was there with me. If I was doing this by myself, I would have failed miserably.

So, I got to work. Things were going good. I was in the zone. My calls were going great. (I should be sober on Saturdays more often!) I was reading my new book when out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. It was a spider on my computer screen. Blech. Well, I'm terrified of spiders. I'm also terrified as being a lame ass girl. So, I quietly packed up my stuff and switched cubicles. Didn't want to make a scene. Not a big deal... although my heart skipped a beat when I saw it. (I have a problem killing things... that's why I had to just move.)

Then, a few hours later (although really just a few minutes ago) a man called me. I don't have a problem speaking with men about makeup samples, but I always feel like it's kind of a touchy subject. Generally, the men I speak to are just looking for something to improve their skin's appearance, not a new shade of lipstick. So, I have to figure out which kind of guy I'm talking to. I don't care either way, but this guy got a little offended when I asked him what color of lipstick he would like me to send him. He seemed really effeminate though. What was I supposed to think? Jeez, do your research. If you're calling a makeup company, it's likely you'll be talking about makeup. Harahan. I totally crack myself up. I'm doing this at work right now, and I am just getting the biggest kick out of myself.

What the f is mauve? Women keep calling me up asking me for samples of mauve colored lipstick. (I checked the dictionary and it's a purple-grey color. Why would anyone want to paint their lips purple-grey? You'd look dead...) I also keep getting these women who are expecting a sample big enough to last them for a month. This is a business, folks. If we gave you a sample for a month's supply, what would be the point in ever buying the product? Think about it. (For those who don't know, I work in customer service sending out makeup samples to women. I'm sure you sort of figured that out by now though...) I guess that was pretty much my day. Not too interesting, I know. But, I'm not forcing you to read this. Hah! (seriously, I'm cracking up right now.)

Tonight, the plan is to go to a leukemia benefit with Fabio. Then, I don't know. Possibly meet up with H and LJ for some non-drinking fun. I want some pizza. I'm pretty sure we decided pizza is not fast food. I still have to do yoga at some point tonight, or else work out for half an hour. (also part of the SLAM... that's a pretty cool acronym for the Shanghai-LJ Awareness Month, eh?) I'll keep y'all up to date on the results of that. It'll be interesting to see how much money I save this month... and how much weight I lose just from not drinking alcohol. Does that happen? I'm assuming I'll save about $80 a week. That's a decent amount of cash. I better save that much... I just spent most of that saved amount at Barnes and Noble last night. There's still a couple books I want. But... I should probably catch up with my reading list and then buy more. Since being in school this semester, I've been totally slacking with the reading.

Ok. Enough. So long and good luck!

*written on Saturday, May 13, 2006.

Worst Episode Ever

Right now, I feel sort of like a shell. Like someone has punched all the guts and feelings out of me. Yesterday, my mom told me she has colon cancer. I'm not angry anymore, or even sad. I'm just kind of in shock. I know that colon cancer is the easiest to successfully treat. (or that's what she told me) But still, it's a pretty scary thing. I kind of assumed that since she got MS she was immune to other diseases, that for some reason the universe played fair. I don't know why I thought that. I guess it was pretty naive. I remember when she told me last year that she had multiple sclerosis she said, "Don't worry. It could have been worse." We were both thinking in our heads "it could have been cancer." And now it is worse. A week from Monday she's going in to get surgery. Depending on if they can get it all out, she may have to get chemo. The doctor said they caught it pretty early so most likely she'll be fine after the surgery. I hope they're right. I'm probably overreacting. But c'mon, cancer? That's such a scary thing. I should stop worrying so much though. I mean, for as scared as I am, I'm sure she's probably about 100 times more scared. So, this is me letting all of my fear go. I want to be there for my mom. I don't want her to have to feel her pain and also see my pain. So, I guess from now on, I'm just going to be there for her.

The square root of 27 is not 9.

Duh? Well that's what I put on my math test this morning. Needless to say, I failed... again. Yes, this was actually a retake for failing the first time. I actually did worse the second time around. I don't understand. Generally, I'm pure genius when it comes to math. (correction: remedial math) Maybe my huge ego prevented me from studying it up enough.

And there began my stupid day.

After my test, I drove straight to work. Somehow, I managed to get lost. "But Shanghai," you might ask, "how could you possibly get lost when you go to the same building every day?" That, I do not know. The only explanation I have is I went through town instead of taking the highway- and everything looks different backwards. Huh.

Once I got there, I logged into my phone system. My first call was on speakerphone. What?! And it took me a little while to figure that out. This is why my mom has been known to refer to me as "her little space cadet." or why my brother affectionately used to call me Goofer (McStupid.) Remember Goof Troop? Disney Afternoon?

So, I kind of assumed it would get better. But it really didn't. Luckily, I've forgotten most of it. heh. Now, I get to write a poem. A poem describing Taoism. I'm not too good at the whole poetry thing. The only person who's ever read the one poem I've ever written (exaggeration) is R. She can confirm though that it sucked. Or... maybe I could turn that poem in and say it's about Taoism. Hey R... a little help? Still got it?

Welcome

So, now I have a blog. I'm not sure what I'll be writing in it yet. But it'll be cool as hell.